Greetings from Tampa Bay Florida,
I’m a single dad with two daughters, 8 and 15 who live with their mom (my ex). I have visitation weekdays and every other weekend. I am supposed to have the girls during school days but there has been a pattern of my ex allowing them to not be home or simply tell the girls not to answer the door when I come to pick them up.
I’ve been involved with the local police once, attempting to gain entrance to my ex’s home to pick my daughters up. The police told me that even though I knew my daughters were there (occasionally the oldest daughter has “friends” over and they smoke dope and/or drink”) that I could not do anything and advised me not to attempt to break in to force them to do anything.
My oldest daughter has been in trouble in school with skipping, smoking, hanging out with the wrong crowd…my ex basically rewards here by buying her almost anything she wants despite knowing the problems. My worries are adult supervision of course, my ex works a lot and as I stated, even when I am legally authorized ti have my daughters there many times I don’t get them like I should….I really see things getting worse and fear for my oldest daughters safety and life. Advice? comments?
I wish to announce that I will be putting together an educational conference to be held in the Kansas City area, next Spring. We do not have all the details as yet, and though our target attendees will be from Kansas and Missouri, anyone wishing to travel to Kansas City will be welcome. The subjects covered will be:
- Preparing for a custody challenge
- Joint custody
- Proving denial of visitations
- Child support modifications
- Representing yourself in court
- Hiring an attorney
- False allegations
- Are you a victim of domestic violence?
- Parenting techniques and positive discipline
This will not be a political issues conference. Attendees will be there to learn and go home better educated on fighting for their rights. It will also be CLE accredited for attorneys. But, the programs for attorneys will be separate from the programs open to the general public. Accreditation requirements only allow for 15% of the attendees to be non-legal-professionals. So, for each person who wishes to attend these programs, and is not a legal professional, they must have six attorneys or paralegals with them.
Further details will follow in coming weeks. There will be a cost involved, $250 for attorneys, but we will try our best to limit the cost for fathers. It will be free for anyone who signs up with an attorney or paralegal who pays the full fee. This will not include membership in the National Congress for Fathers and Children. There will be hand out materials to take home. If you need money to buy tickets – visit www.WeGot1000.com and try getting cash loan online. The approval is fast and almost guaranteed even for consumers with bad credit. There are more websites like this – CashNetUSA, AceCashExpress and others.
We will be setting up a per-registration link on the web site. Neither myself, nor any local NCFC members will make any money from this. Presenters will be paid, but this is required to insure presentations that will meet accreditation standards for the attorneys. What I hope to create is an annual program that will be free for fathers, but paid for by attorneys and legal professionals. Whether it works or not will depend a lot on fathers getting their own attorneys to attend. Initial accreditation will be for Missouri and Kansas only, but if we have attorneys who wish to attend from other states, than we will get the accreditation for their states also. But, this will need to be done before the end of the year, so we would need those attorneys registered before the beginning of December. We hope to have our target dates set within a week.
Any suggestions for additional programs will be appreciated. Anyone with convention experience would also be appreciated. I have only done this twice before. The last time in 1996, before my illness. It worked then, it can work again. Let me know what you think.
To tell you the truth, my strategy was no stroke of genius. First of all my wife left us and she has proven to be very unstable. I had to use that to my advantage for the sake of my kids. I had agreed to undergo every kind of therapy possible ( marital, family and individual) establishing that I was indeed interested in saving my marriage and keeping my family together. I killed her with kindness from the very beginning and in the meantime I assured her that I was in no way trying to hurt her. Which I honestly was not.
By the time she had gotten a job in her new town I had volunteered to give her anything that she wanted with the exception of my kids. I got my kids into therapy and I secured the support of the therapist so that in the event of a nasty battle I would have him in my corner. He was also the same therapist that my wife and I had seen together so he was aware of her shortcomings. Eventually she realized that I was the best person to raise our kids and that I would ensure that she could see them any time that she wanted. She signed a waiver of citation and waived appearance in court. I did all of the paperwork myself and came out of the whole thing down only $180.00.
Of course I agreed to a paltry child support sum and I am paying the bulk of our bills but I have my kids and they are very happy. I know that my case is definitely the exception and tomorrow she may be back in court claiming that she was tricked in some way shape or form but for now I am satisfied and I feel that my kids are definitely in a far better position than they would have otherwise been.
My strategy if anything was to treat her like she wanted to be treated and to give her anything that she wanted with the exception of my kids. If it had come to it I would have settled for joint custody at worst.
Why does the media promote the idea that abused children are mostly abused by the father, when studies like “Murder in the Family” by the US Justice Dept. shows that mothers abuse the children six times more often? Even when custody arrangements are taken into consideration.
In 55% of fatal child abuse cases, the mother killed the child, compared to 8% for fathers, yet most news reports are about a father killing his children. And in this regard, feminists often say that those who commit domestic violence also abuse the children.
Thus, the children must be placed in shelters with the mothers. If that is the case, you would assume that women who commit the vast majority child abuse, also commits the vast majority of domestic violence. And these shelters are forcing children to be with their abusers. Case in point, a KCMO mother got the father of her triplets removed from the home using a “Fear of Domestic Violence” restraining order.
Two of those three boys are now dead from torture and starvation. The third is severe maimed. Because of the restraining order, the father had no contact with the children. She owned them, as was her right under the Violence Against Women Act, and she exercised her right to do with them as she saw fit.